Video Games

Perhaps I Hate Too Human Too Much?

“To get through all we’re gettin’ through without a scratch on us, and then to die to a handful of explosive enemies… just makes me so angry.”

As I lay in the bedroom with the pillow over my head trying to sleep and drown out all the noise from the living room, all I could hear was the conversation my boyfriend was making to his Too Human co-op partner. He had been playing for a few hours already, so I just fell asleep – something I’m notorious for whenever he plays. When I came back out into the living room, my boyfriend was the same way I had left him, sitting propped up on the couch in his dark blue shorts.

“What was that? I just fell for no reason, I didn’t see an explosion. I tripped over my cybernetic shoelace.”

I decided to take a closer look at him, to see why he enjoys the game that received mediocre to bad reviews. And as he’s playing, I notice it’s a glitchy piece of crap – he and his partner boarded the same elevator but apparently only his partner is able to leave the elevator.

“Hey the boss is shooting me and I’m not even there.”

But my boyfriend doesn’t seem upset at all. He just keeps jumping around the elevator, fighting random groups of enemies that fall from above. I notice that he sometimes moves the toes on his right foot in sync with the hits he delivers to the elves. I miss their reunion because my boyfriend asked me to serve him a cup of Sunkist.

“I can’t see the boss! It looks like you’re fighting nobody [laughs].”

I can’t help but laugh and scream what the fuck at the television because it looks like my boyfriend and his partner are fighting air. The boss is completely invisible but they manage to defeat him as a team anyway.

My boyfriend is addicted to the loot, the combat and the co-op play. As unappealing as the game is to me, it makes him happy. And while I’ll never touch it, I’m happy it’s there because it’ll keep him busy until something better, a lot better, comes out.

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